Its not you It's me
When is it appropriate to dump a friend? When I moved to the NYC, I had a single friend here whom I knew the whole time in Buffalo. We lived in the same complex. We have hung out often since I moved to Brooklyn. He's very resourceful and always willing to help. But, there are things about him that really bug me. Over time these things have built up and finally come to a breaking point. I can't even fully articulate what he's done or if he's done anything wrong at all. I just feel like I'm tired of him. I feel guilty about not wanting to be friends with him because we had been fairly close for the last couple of years. Is it really fair to dump someone when they haven't really done anything wrong? (except irritate me?) My concern is that I may not be judging this situation fairly.
posted by cherie @ 5:58 PM
2 Comments:
im going to paste below, an email that i sent to mike last night, which should so clearly indiate my perspective on your dilemma...
yes, im alive, and no, i dont hate you.
honestly, the only thing i feel toward you is
indifference.
last time we hung out, i was reminded of who you
really were. after knowing you for all this time, i
have made what i would consider to be above and beyond
an effort to see the good in you. deep inside, i do
believe that you are a good person. but for some
reason, the person that you try so hard to be
overshadows any goodness, and i dont have the energy
or care to exert further effort in an attempt to find
it.
i really did try michael. for many years i tried to
look past the pretentious facade in an attempt to care
about the person underneath.
last time we hung out, i just saw so much ugliness.
you have so much going for you. you have been given
more oppotunity in life than anyone ive ever known,
and yet, all you ever talk about is your bank account.
and ive told you a million times how much i dont care
about it. i dont want to hear about how much money you
make. or how expensive your car is. or how much is in
your bank account. i. dont. care.
and yet, that appears to be your only redeeming
quality, as its the only thing you ever talk about.
that, and how much you've "changed".
the bottom line is that you havent changed. and at
this point, i dont believe you ever will. i still
catch you in lie after lie, and having someone like
that in my life provides no value to me. even your
myspace contains lies. honestly, who are you trying to
impress? has it worked out for you so far in life?
dare i go on to mention your constant wallowing in
self-pity and blaming of everyone else in your life
for your circumstance?
we have shared some good times, and when i think of
you, those will hopefully be the times that i
remember. but at the end of the day, i dont feel
better about myself or about my life as a result of
our "friendship".
contrary to what it may read above, im not writing
this to tell you off. i dont hate you, i have no ill
will toward you...as i said before, i just feel
indifferent toward you now.
i do hope that you find your way in life, and my one
wish for you is that someone comes along who truly
inspires you to better yourself. and not just on a
superficial level, but really makes you want to be a
better person. because i do believe that you are
better than your money and the shallow persona you portray.
shawn
I've said it once & I'll say it again. If you wouldn't take that treatment from a complete stranger, why would you take it from a friend or family member?
That is all.
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