Times of Terror

I am completely exhausted. There was an explosion in New York yesterday, which I'm sure you are all aware of. I work in the twenties, and the explosion was in the forties, so as I was leaving work yesterday I saw billowing clouds of smoke. When I got home, my mom had left me a message expressing concern and she was crying. Mom isn't a fan of me living here for obvious reasons and times like this exacerbate her concern. Add to the fact that I didn't have her cell number because I upgraded my phone and she doesn't have call waiting on her house phone. Anyhow, tomorrow is her birthday, so I dispatched Chris to get me two gift certificates and hand deliver them to my mom and let her know I'm still alive. Being the good sport that he his, he did what I asked and I was able to let my mom know I was still alive, though I'm sure if she was watching the news she would have been aware.

I've had horrible dreams this week, one of which I was running from an armed gunman shooting bullets into the back of people's heads. (think columbine) The second dream I had the day before the eruption in New York, was a dream about terrorism. And how fucked I am, if someone decides to commit an act of terrorism in the course of my daily routine. We take life for granted, not realizing that anyone can just blow anything up at any time. I see many opportunities in the course of my daily life, am I to assume that someone won't exploit these? No. And yeah, I don't completely buy the bullshit that says, "if we live in terror, they win". Fuck that. I'm scared, and so is everyone here. It doesn't stop us from going to work however. But, I've just been thinking lately about each day is one more day that can just abruptly end at some point. New York is a target for sure. But so is Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Washington D.C., Niagara Falls, Seattle. Everywhere. And these are just mass scale cities. I'm sure that soon our country will soon be like Israel, in the sense that going to a shopping mall in suburbia will be just as dangerous.