Breathing Again

Day 2 of not speaking with Chris. It's difficult in some ways, but in other ways its great. I would have dreams of him hooking up with other girls in front of me, probably some subconscious thought of how he dates girls while I looked on. I also worried that every time he wasn't on the phone with me he was out dating some other girl. It was exhausting really. Worrying like that. It feels good to not worry and it feels good to know that I finally had the strength to come to a decision. The timing is bad and I hate using that phrase because I never thought it was relevant to me. In this case it is. I love Chris for all that he is, but right now we are not in agreement and no one will win. And so now I just keep breathing and focusing on getting the hell out of NYC. And maybe going to Prague in December. Maybe.