The Internal Rage

I realized today that the problem is that I'm not "New York enough" for New York. I just can't be that person. I'm also convinced that I will not lose this stupid weight. Yes, my visual appearance has changed a bit in 4 months, but my weight hasn't actually moved. I know I shouldn't be worried because its muscle but, still I think I'm starting to give up. I just feel like I'm always on the verge of tears lately. It feels like a vicious cycle. I don't want to go out anymore and its too fucking cold to really want to go out anyways. I don't think I'll make friends at work the way I was sort of hoping to. I'm very reserved and keep to myself which isn't normal for me. I'm sort of trying to not spend money too, so I feel sort of stuck right now. I took three trains today to get the most fantastic chocolate soymilk I've ever had.