Epilogue

I've begun to accept the situation with Chris and I. I feel good about the decisions I have made from start to finish regarding this short affair. 5 months and 3 weeks ago, we had our first conversation and felt the immediate connection. Though I lived 3,000 miles away, we explored the possibility. For this I cannot feel any regret. Not knowing is worse than not trying for me. So now I know, it was a dead end. I did learn so much from this situation that I think I can take with me to my next journey. I've learned that emotionally, I have been very much affected by my last relationship, leading to many feelings of doubt and insecurities about myself. I have also felt as if Chris has given me hope that there are men still left in the world that are good. He was the first man to make me feel as if my thoughts and feelings were important and really pressed me to communicate through the times I didn't want to. Communication is not a strong area for me, and I felt that some of the minor issues we had could have escalated into more if he hadn't forced me to communicate with him. It seems I have a knack for being attracted to men who are reluctant to give themselves emotionally to me. Overall, I'm not as disappointed as I thought I would be. Incredibly hurt yes. I was really falling for this guy. I'm just glad that I finally had the strength to let it go. I just hope I didn't make a mistake. Part of me feels that 5 months may not be enough for someone to decide how they feel about me.