The list

Today I took a stroll down to Barnes and Noble in Union Square. Slightly embarrassed, I picked up the "He's Just Not That Into You" book. B has recommended this book to me before, but I had always declined because I felt that I can tell when men aren't into me. In light of the recent situation with Chris, I realized that I couldn't be more wrong. I took the book into a secluded area and sat on the floor and read through it. I was delighted to see that the book is completely inline with my new philosophy on dating and men. I loved it. B, you were so right! I saw all the issues I had been facing with men and all the stupid excuses I had made for them. I marched out of that bookstore absolutely ecstatic.

Every time I've been hurt I've always dealt with it by crying and questioning myself and what I did wrong. As a result of the whole Chris mess I see everything differently. I don't regret too much I've done in my life. But, I do take responsibility for things when I know I was at fault. I'm guilty of doing everything I can to please a man, even when its clear they aren't doing a thing to please me. I realize now that none of the guys that I loved ever loved me. No one has ever stepped up to the plate for me or done anything for me at all. I understand now that deep down inside I didn't think I was worth stepping up for. But that has all changed. I do think I'm worth something now and I'm not going to let anyone treat me with anything less than what I want. I refuse to be the person who gets hurt over and over. I think its the first step toward understanding myself and relationships.

So, I'm publicly listing my new standards for dating men, as the book suggests:

1. I will only date men who are professionals or have at least the same amount of education as me


2. As soon as I feel that someone I am dating is not working to keep the relationship alive, I will let it go and move on


3. I will not stay in a situation that doesn't make me happy


4. I will not try to convince a guy of my worth, if he doesn't see it that is his problem not mine

P.S. Shawn, you have to read that book. It seems so stupid, but its right on. I think you can benefit enormously from it.