Happy 30's Shawn!

This week has been hellish. I've been at work almost every night until 10 pm. I've worked both Saturday and Sunday and my building turns off the A/C on the weekends and the weather is completely nast. So, my apologies to one of my BFFs for not wishing him a Happy Birthday on July 27. Baby, I really did think the 27th was on Sunday. I'm so sorry. 30 is a big one. Cut me a break, I've been working late and not getting enough sleep. I'm also pretty sure I haven't been showering. Anyways, Happy 30th!

Simpsons Brilliant Marketing

So yes, I am a Simpsons fan. I was down at the Kwik-E-Mart on 42nd street buying up a pink donut, a squishee and Krusty-o's. I love to simpsonize myself and I'm loving that they are playing my favorite episodes back to back this week. I know many out there love the Simpsons just as much or more than I do. That Kwik-E-Mart was packed with people who were snatching the last of the Buzz Cola armed with their camera phones. So, here's the question: Is anyone actually going to watch the Simpsons movie? I don't think so. I just don't think its going to be a very good movie. I have to check my facts, but my favorite seasons of the Simpsons was a while back, the new writing isn't as witty or funny. Slightly amusing, yes. But, I think I'll be adding it to the Netflix queue, squeezed between Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Sex and the City Season 3, Disk 2. Oh and by the way, that is me in the simpsons cartoon. I created my own avatar to look like me.

Celebreality

Let's talk TV. I've decided Tom Colicchio from Top Chef is hot shit, and his restaurants are in New York so I'm going to have to eat at one. The cheapest one. I watched the reunion show of Charm School and I can't figure out Mo'nique. On one hand she's all about being a strong woman, but on the other hand, I think the reason we all watched Charm School was to see the antics of the ghettolicious girls. And quite frankly I think Mo knows that. So, I'm not sure I'm buying it. Larissa is crazy though and I was happy to see that Saafayri and Lailene did well from the show. And damn those fucking Vh1 shows, they get me hooked every time. I made a conscious decision to not watch the new Bret Michaels show, because I'm tired of seeing skanky women draping themselves on famous men. But, in true Vh1 fashion, they played that shit over and over, until inevitably they caught me off guard at the gym, and now I'm hooked. One more thing, I've been a little disappointed with the new season of Rescue Me. It's been slow moving and slightly annoying. It appears that Sheila is going to take the new baby and I think thats just ridiculous. Anyways, I'm bummed that Kathy Griffin's show is now at the end of the season but stoked that Scott Baio is 45 and Single, because I'd show Charles who is in charge. Seriously, he's hot. Yeah, he's only 4 years younger than my mom, but that doesn't deter me.

Daddy's Little Girls

I'm going back to Cali in August for 5 days and this trip will include a day excursion to Catalina Island. Chris took a couple of days off so we can go seadooing. Anyhow, as a single daddy of two little girls, he gets the girls from Friday through Sunday. I'm not sure what the proper protocol is, but I do know its not cool to just introduce random women into your daughters' life when they are so young. I haven't said anything about wanting to meet them, because part of me feels like its too soon, and I live so far right now, that it wouldn't feel right. The other part of me thinks that if I don't express interest in meeting them he may feel as if I don't want to. The question I'm left asking is this: Is it my responsibility to say something or does he determine when its time to meet his daughters?

Times of Terror

I am completely exhausted. There was an explosion in New York yesterday, which I'm sure you are all aware of. I work in the twenties, and the explosion was in the forties, so as I was leaving work yesterday I saw billowing clouds of smoke. When I got home, my mom had left me a message expressing concern and she was crying. Mom isn't a fan of me living here for obvious reasons and times like this exacerbate her concern. Add to the fact that I didn't have her cell number because I upgraded my phone and she doesn't have call waiting on her house phone. Anyhow, tomorrow is her birthday, so I dispatched Chris to get me two gift certificates and hand deliver them to my mom and let her know I'm still alive. Being the good sport that he his, he did what I asked and I was able to let my mom know I was still alive, though I'm sure if she was watching the news she would have been aware.

I've had horrible dreams this week, one of which I was running from an armed gunman shooting bullets into the back of people's heads. (think columbine) The second dream I had the day before the eruption in New York, was a dream about terrorism. And how fucked I am, if someone decides to commit an act of terrorism in the course of my daily routine. We take life for granted, not realizing that anyone can just blow anything up at any time. I see many opportunities in the course of my daily life, am I to assume that someone won't exploit these? No. And yeah, I don't completely buy the bullshit that says, "if we live in terror, they win". Fuck that. I'm scared, and so is everyone here. It doesn't stop us from going to work however. But, I've just been thinking lately about each day is one more day that can just abruptly end at some point. New York is a target for sure. But so is Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Washington D.C., Niagara Falls, Seattle. Everywhere. And these are just mass scale cities. I'm sure that soon our country will soon be like Israel, in the sense that going to a shopping mall in suburbia will be just as dangerous.

Things I love about New York

1. Drop-off Laundry. Dropping off your laundry so someone else can wash your clothes and fold your undies for the same price it is to do your own laundry.


2. Walking. Living in a microcosm neighborhood where you can find most of what you need within walking distance (ie: restaurants, bars, bodegas)


3. The diversity. Walking just a few blocks can be the same as walking from Poland through the Middle East while stopping off in Mexico before landing in Greece.


4. Cuisine. Living in diversity means the local restaurants and cuisines reflect this. My neighborhood has Polish, Greek, "Mexican", Moroccan, Arabic, and Japanese restaurants.


5. Choices. Unlike suburbia, when you are forced to shop at either Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister, in New York you can choose between Macy's and Saks or hundreds of private boutiques selling unusual fashion and accessories. You aren't forced to drive far away to find uniqueness.


6. Arts and Culture. Of course. Watching an Indie film is very easy to do here, but a bit more expensive. Obviously there are tons of musuems and other cultural events that occur here. The drawback is that you definitely need to be willing to fight crowds of people or be able to handle the fact that everyone else will be there too.


7. History. Yes, this is nerdy, but I bought a PBS videoof Coney Island. I'm a Coney Island buff, and I can't help it. But aside from Coney Island this place is brimming with history and sights.


8. Delivery. Everyone delivers. The McDonald's near my work has a delivery service. Anything you want you get, usually its free. You just have to make sure the driver isn't trying to rip you off like the drivers of Mizu Sushi. That's right motherfuckers, your sushi sucks and your drivers are assholes.


9. The Attitude. The people of New York work it. I mean no matter how bad they look, everyone thinks the look good. Chubby chicks are wearing the latest fashions that don't look so good on their body type, but they are rocking that short dress and gladiator sandals all while wearing Dior sunglasses. This goes for everyone, not just the chubbies. Everyone thinks they look good and the walk on the street like they own it. Love it.


10. Movies and Celebrities. Yeah, this is a bit sad. I love the fact that I saw Eddie Murphy filming a movie in front of the flatiron. I love the fact that I saw that guy from BET's 106 and Park walking his dog and watching the filming of an Amex commercial near Madison Square Park. That's cool shit. And while these are pseudo-celebrities for sure, I know the day will come when Denis Leary and I "accidently" bump into each other at some random coffee shop downtown.

5 days of New York Exploration

Homer's Pink Donuts at the Kwik-E Mart on 42nd Street

I had a friend visiting from Tuesday until Sunday of this week. I was determined to give her the complete New York tour. We started off by going on the Staten Island Ferry around the bay, then headed to Chinatown for some knock off Chanel purses. From there we went into Little Italy where I had the best gelato ever. We checked out some boutiques in Soho and then went to Macy's.

The next day we went to Grimaldi's and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge to find more knock off purses in Chinatown. We saw the courthouse from Law & Order in our travels. Later that day, we went to an overpriced restaurant--we spent $90 each. Afterwards we went to see Wicked. I really enjoyed the show. We went to the Living Room after the show and had a couple of drinks before going back to Brooklyn.

On Friday we went to 5th Avenue and did some shopping. She bought herself a Tiffany's necklace and we went to Saks and other high end shops. We came back to Brooklyn and went to La Maison du Couscous Moroccan restaurantin my neighborhood. It was way better and cheaper than the $90 crap we had in the city.

Saturday we went to Central Park and the Kwik-E Mart. We bought ourselves a squishee and a box of Krusty-Os. When we got back into Brooklyn we had a beer at my friend Kate's house and watched half of The Shining before going home.

On Sunday, we went to the Brooklyn Museum to check it out. She decided she was "over" going to the city. She was also so tired from walking she didn't want to go to any of the museums in Manhattan.

She said she liked New York, but could never live here.

I'd rather hang out alone

Hey,
We've had some fun but I think its time we part ways. You just aren't my type. I like people who don't want to live a sheltered life. Yes, we did have fun that one time at the bar, but that was like 2 months ago and things haven't been the same between us. I find myself wanting to drink more and more when you are around so I can try to forget how uninteresting our conversations are. You'll find someone else, another out-of-towner who will give you a few weeks of adventure and fun. Keep in mind that an adventure for you is leaving the five mile radius of your neighborhood. Quite honestly, I began to realize that you and I were two different people when you expressed your ignorance of the flatiron building. On that note, goodbye.

My imaginary goodbye to the jewannabe.

A Weekend off the G

This weekend I stayed in Fifi's apartment off the G Line in Greenpoint. I was supposed to be cat sitting. He goes to the toilet like a human to go poo and pee.

I decided that I was going to devote this weekend to me. I started my Saturday morning with a trip to Tiffany's to buy myself a necklace. I felt it would be a commemoration of my success and my time in New York. I then continued my day by walking through a corner of Central Park and shopping. I bought two new pairs of shoes, a dress, a shirt and some shorts. Later the Jewannabe met me in the city with another girl and we had dinner at Aleo's. The pumpkin ravioli was yummy.

When Sunday rolled around I headed over to the Parish Diner and had brunch. I tried the Frosted Flakes coated French Toast with the drunken bananas and a bellini. I know it sounds like something from the White trash cookbook, but it was pretty good. After brunch, I headed back to the apartment and hung out with Fifi's cat. Later, I went down to Acapulco's and had some chicken nachos con guacamole followed by a walk to Williamsburg to do some boutique shopping. I decided I like myself way more than some of the people I've met here. On that note, as my pink-haired little friend would say, Greenpoint bitches!